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Grip Skirt Black
Is this good writing?I write a lot of warriors stories.Read it please.?
coalpaws fur prickled uneasily as he felt the warriors breath hot on his neck.His paws scrambled for grip on the slipperly log up to the gathering and his icey blue eyes shimmered in the setting sun.Up ahead,he saw the beautiful,slim figure of the gentle Rosepaw of riverclan,her lean shape sillouheted against the warm,buttery yellow glow of the rainbow sun.She turned,and her dazzling scarlet eyes gleamed.Coalpaw raced over to her,ignoring his paws as dirt flew probably into some unfortunate warriors face.Rosepaw greeted him with a cheerful lick on the nose and Coalpaw returned the favour,muscules rippling under his jet black pelt.
"How've you been?"Coalpaw tried,his voice casual,but inside his heart skipped a beat...twice in his chest.
"Fine,thanks." Rosepaw said in her lilting,sweet voice.Coalpaws ears cupped forward and he reared up on his hind legs,hearing the call of flamestar.
"C'mon!" Coalpaw lunged and skirted around rosepaw,inhaling her salty,tangy smell of riverclan.
Um, it's okay. Nothing great.
Too much like the Warrior Cats series by Erin Hunter. Or maybe you're writing a fanfiction?
Anyways, you're writing is okay. I wouldn't read more though.
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Cool Kids - Black Mags (Official Music Video & Lyrics)
What do you guys think of this [rough draft] poem?
In my honors english class, we are currently studying poetry. An assignment for the weekend is to create a poem using poetic elements such as symbolism, similes, etc. I love to read poetry and interpret it, but I don't particularly think that my writing skills as a poet are great.
What do you think of this poem so far? Any suggestions appreciated!
"Skirts As Searing as Girls"
Oh, vicious, little pencil skirt,
Your fabric dips below my mountained knees,
my poor knees, hiding themselves like you demanded.
Your interlocked design laughs at me,
just like you do everyday.
Your ugly face resides as the round of my back.
Your stingy rumor disguises itself as the curvature of my thighs.
Your domineering abilities become the folds of my calves.
Your grip is like the choke of death in the last few seconds of life.
...And some say black is slimming.
The top of a skirt can have a yoke and that could have a double meaning in your poem
The bottom of a skirt can be hemmed and you could use that as well in the sense of being ''hemmed in''
Tags: grip skirt black, skirt